Take my advise: Just buy your kids those Power Rangers or My Little Pony toys and keep an elephant sized berth away from these colorful death traps. From toy guns that are almost as dangerous as the real things to science kits that contained uranium, join me as we count down 15 toys that could lead to fatal consequences to kids and sometimes even adults. Note: Many of these are discontinued, so you won't be able to buy them even if you for some reason wanted to.
#15: Toy guns.
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| Don't take this to a bank! |
You knew we had to get to these eventually. The BB guns obviously aren't as deadly as bullet-based firearms, but they still tend to hurt like hell if those flying spheres made contact with human skin and can still shoot an eye out. There's also Austin's Magic Pistol, which fired ping pong balls using an explosive chemical reaction between water and calcium carbide, and the SuperSoaker CPS 2000, which packed way too much power for a water gun. The guns that look like real guns also have the added risk of causing police shootings if they were mistaken for the real deals.
#14: Kite Tube
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| Leave flying to the birds, bats and winged insects, kid! |
What do you get when you combine a parasol with a kite? Why a flying death trap that could carry you up to 30 feet in the air when tied to the back of a water ski or really fast boat and continue flying after you fell off, of course!
#13: Hannah Montana Trading Cards
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Miley Cyrus how could you?!
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Yes, even the family entertainment empire that is The Walt Disney Corporation isn't perfect. These pop star themed cards had 75 five times as much toxic lead as the law allows. The only reason these assassin's dreams come true remained on shelves was because the lead was in the vinyl, not the paint.
#12: Magnetix
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Just don't swallow them and you'll have barrels of fun!
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These fun while they lasted magnets carried the obvious risk of kids swallowing them and choking to death, but they also had the added risk of coming together in your kids stomachs, tearing their intestines apart.
#11: Clackers
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| These tiny wrecking balls were flying into things before the Wiimote was even a concept! |
Current versions of this toy had light little balls that wouldn't cause much harm. Past versions, however, had much heavier balls that could easily break noses and teeth if swung with enough force.
#10: Cabbage Patch Kids Snacktime Doll
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| "We don't need any chewing dolls!" Head Elf from Rudolf The Red-Nosed Reindeer, 1964 |
These dolls turned cannibals were originally intended to consume plastic foods, but they soon developed a taste for the fingers of curious children. They didn't have an off switch, so the only ways to stop it from biting your kid's finger off were to remove the batteries or take a blunt instrument to the doll's head.
#9: Barbie Sky Dancers
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| Squadalah, your teeth are off! |
When these murderous Barbie dolls were flying, their spinning wings had enough force to lacerate faces, break teeth and even cause blindness in whatever kid got too close. That's pretty strong for a doll that your toddler would tower over.
#8: Tie N Tangle
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| Who thought this was a good idea? |
This rope version of Twister carried the obvious risk of strangulation. As if that wasn't bad enough, the ropes were too strong to be broken by hand, so scissors need to be grabbed ASAP if one of the ropes found its way around your neck.
#7: Aqua Leisure Inflatable Baby Boats
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| Kinda ironic that a small boat aimed at toddlers can't hold one up! |
The leg straps of these poorly made boats were too weak to hold the weight of your baby, so he or she might drown just for trying to use the thing. What's worse is they
knew of this design flaw and did nothing about it!
#6: Easy Bake Oven
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| Keep your fingers away! |
When Hasbro redesigned their kid safe ovens in 2006, they accidentally made it so kids could get their fingers stuck in the loading openings and burned by the ceramic heating cores. Fortunately, these children's cooking systems gone wrong were recalled by the thousands and Hasbro redesigned future models so this wouldn't happen again.
#5: Fisher-Price Power Wheels Motorcycle
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Your kid's whee will turn into a deuueaugh once this thing spirals outta control!
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Even Fisher-Price has a few murder weapons in its otherwise harmless collection of toys. Giving your little one his or her own small motorcycle seems like a fun idea... Until they run into an
actual automobile because the accelerator jammed.
#4: Bindeez and Pixos
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| You keep your unconsciousness inducing drugs away from me! |
Before their were Aqua Dots, there were these poison capsules in disguise. The very small beads were covered with a chemical that actually turns into GBH (
a freaking date rape drug) when swallowed. Thank goodness this chemical is absent in Aqua Dots.
#3: Lawn Darts
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Forget shooting an eye out! With these you'll gouge an eye out!
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Easily the most infamous death trap disguised as a toy, these sharp missiles were meant to be thrown at large targets on the lawn. To the surprise of nobody, many reports of injuries and even a few deaths caused by these darts led to them being banned forever.
#2: CSI Fingerprint Examination Kit
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| I said hold the toxic substance! |
Besides this play kit being sold to people of the wrong age, the dust used to look for fingerprints had asbestos mixed into it. Apparently whoever sold this thing to children wanted to make some crime scenes of their own.
#1: Atomic Energy Lab
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| Nothing says merry Christmas quite like stuff that goes into nuclear bombs! |
This little science toy lets kid experiment with radioactive materials, even including some uranium in the box. Is anyone surprised this thing is gone?
Whoever market these at kids was clearly in the wrong marketing department. Given the sheer amount of toys out there, there are bound to be some I've missed. If you know of any, leave some names in the comment section. I'll see you later. Have a Merry Christmas.
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