Thursday, January 10, 2019

15 OP towers in tower defense games

Intruders coming down your backyard's winding path? Maybe this list can help. From temples that fire everything but the kitchen sink to homing missile launchers, join me as we count down 15 extremely powerful units in TD games. In this case, most of my info was retrieved from the Wikia system of websites and games that I've played and/or saw gameplay of on YouTube.

#15: Mini Robot Wars: Missler Bot

These guys are like predatory ants: Get enough and you can destroy almost anything!
What this unit lacks in special abilities and destroying power, it more than makes up for with simplicity and power in numbers. Costing only 50 energy, it fires homing missiles at all enemies on screen. In large enough groups, they can turn even the worst levels of the game into jokes.

#14: Cursed Treasure: Chilling/Dreadful Crypt

Terrifying!
This upgrade gives your crypts a chance to scare enemies into running away on impact. As if that wasn't enough, the tower can also get various perks from the undead skill tree, ranging from a slight chance of killing enemies in one hit to frightened enemies losing health while they run for the hills. These towers can only be placed on snow tiles, but you'll find plenty of those on most levels.

#13: The Creeps!: Pot of Gold

Now that's lucky!
This aptly-titled weapon is only available on Saint Patrick's Day-themed levels and it's fairly expensive, but it more than makes up for it with its usefulness. Not only does it fire rainbow waves that deal good damage and hit all enemies in its range, but it also slows enemies down and gives you extra money for every enemy it hits.

#12: Puzzle Defense: Eye of Ra

Beware the evil eye!
Of all the towers from this match 3/tower defense hybrid this one might just be the mightiest weapon in your Egyptian arsenal. Its range covers the entire map and its attack deals infinite damage, wiping out any enemy it targets in one hit. Its only low on this list because it fires slowly, can't hit airborne targets and its very expensive, costing 50 yellow runes (in this game, there are 5 different currencies and they're all obtained from the match 3 segment).

#11: Zombie TD Reborn and Uprise: Laser Cannon

Regardless of range, this thing packs a punch!
This tower fires slowly and is quite expensive, but it deals incredible damage per shot, it can hit zombies from a huge distance and it can destroy both airborne and ground zombies. It can only hit 1 zombie at a time, but this can easily be solved by including explosive towers in your defense.

#10: SAS Zombie Assault Td: Liquid Clean Tungsten Cannon

Burn baby burn!
After switching from electricity weapon to flamethrower, the special turret turns into this. In addition to dealing heavy damage and firing rapidly, this tower also leaves molten tungsten on the ground that damages all enemies that stand on them until they disappear. It costs a lot of money and needs to be unlocked with SAS money, but the sheer killing power is worth the price.

#9: Plants Vs. Zombies: Cob Cannon

Get enough of these guys and no zombie will reach your house!
This plant might not be the most practical choice in the standard levels, but it is a staple for Survival Endless. Instead of automatically firing at the zombies, this plant lets you fire exploding cobs of corn at your foes. The main downside is the cost: Not only does the tower itself cost 500 sun, but it also has to be planted on 2 Kernel-Pults, both of which cost 100 sun.

#8: Robotic Emergence 2: Large Cyborg Dome

This factory produces so many robots you might as well nickname it ant hill!
This massive factory produces all around good robots to destroy your opponent. What really puts it on this list is how many cyborgs it sends out: The minimum amount is 82 per minute and the maximum is 150 per minute! Unfortunately, the factory itself costs $302, it only sends roads downward and its massive size makes it difficult to squeeze in if you have many factories.

 #7: Warzone Tower Defense: Laser Cannon

One laser beam, several vehicles destroyed!
At the cost of $1000, this tower hits hard, can strike many enemies with 1 blast and can target enemies from a massive distance. The upgrades just make this thing that much stronger and it can also be modified to specifically target airborne enemies.

#6:  Tower Madness: Flamethrower

Unlock for free offer now expired.
These units have a short range, but nearly all aliens with that range will be incinderated. They can burn through even boss enemies easily at level 2 and wipe out entire armies of aliens within seconds at level 3. This literal firepower is balanced out by high costs, long upgrade times, costing real world money to unlock and the game having ghost aliens, which are fireproof.

#5: Onslaught 2: Green Turret

That's a lot of green!
Statistically this turret is one of the weakest on this list, but it makes up for it with the chaining mechanic. It is possible to set these turrets up so they fire at each other like a chain and increase the power of the final laser beam. As if that wasn't enough, you can also combine them with the other turrets for a wide variety of different effects. You can learn more about them here.

#4: Random Defense: Laser Mega Tower

Simple, yet extremely effective!
This tower is quite expensive and can only hit one target at a time, but it deals insane damage per second and it has a rather big range. To unlock it, you'll need to have all 3 research facilities on the field. The Random Doom Tower in the 2nd game is objectionable stronger, having a near full map range and firing extremely powerful projectiles that can hit multiple enemies at once, but it is 4 times as expensive, needs significant amounts of power to run efficiently and requires all the research facilities to be level 4 before you can place it down.

#3: Gemcraft Series: Super Gem

Decisions decisions...
In these games, you can combine gems a number of times until you get some seriously overpowered jewelry. Depending on what gems you combine, you can get some pretty mighty combinations. The method of creating these gems differs slightly with each game, but the most common method involves combining a high level gem with a gem that's 2 levels lower.

#2: Bubble Tanks TD: Mega Mega Tower

Who knew bubbles could be such efficient weapons?
This tower is the result of merging 4 mega towers (which are made by merging 4 regular towers) into one massive unit. Depending on what towers you merge, this tower can have many different abilities. Whether they send screen clearing shockwaves, shoot out exploding projectiles like miniguns or fire army piercing rays of doom, these towers make leaked lives a thing of the past.

#1: Bloons Tower Defense 6: True Sun God

There's overkill, and then there's this guy.
In a series of games with a whole army of way too mighty towers, its funny how this guy easily stands out. This guy gets awesome powers when you sacrifice enough towers to him, in addition to keeping whatever sacrifice-borne powers his preceding upgrade had. If given enough sacrifices, he can go through pretty much any bloon in his path with no effort. If you have the There Can Be Only One monkey knowledge, you can also sacrifice the Super Monkey's other 5th tier upgrades (Anti-Bloon and Legend of the Knight) to a max True Sun God to create a tower that's strong enough to reach round 300 in freeplay mode by himself!

This was a good way to start 2019. Whatever enemies come your way better think twice before charging towards these bad boys. Given how many tower defense games there are, I'm bound to have missed several. If you can think of any other examples, feel free to name them in the comments. I'll see you later. Have a good day or night depending on what time it is.

Tuesday, December 25, 2018

15 Absurdly dangerous kids toys

Take my advise: Just buy your kids those Power Rangers or My Little Pony toys and keep an elephant sized berth away from these colorful death traps. From toy guns that are almost as dangerous as the real things to science kits that contained uranium, join me as we count down 15 toys that could lead to fatal consequences to kids and sometimes even adults. Note: Many of these are discontinued, so you won't be able to buy them even if you for some reason wanted to.

#15: Toy guns.

Don't take this to a bank!
You knew we had to get to these eventually. The BB guns obviously aren't as deadly as bullet-based firearms, but they still tend to hurt like hell if those flying spheres made contact with human skin and can still shoot an eye out. There's also Austin's Magic Pistol, which fired ping pong balls using an explosive chemical reaction between water and calcium carbide, and the SuperSoaker CPS 2000, which packed way too much power for a water gun. The guns that look like real guns also have the added risk of causing police shootings if they were mistaken for the real deals.

#14: Kite Tube

Leave flying to the birds, bats and winged insects, kid!
What do you get when you combine a parasol with a kite? Why a flying death trap that could carry you up to 30 feet in the air when tied to the back of a water ski or really fast boat and continue flying after you fell off, of course!

#13: Hannah Montana Trading Cards

Miley Cyrus how could you?!
Yes, even the family entertainment empire that is The Walt Disney Corporation isn't perfect. These pop star themed cards had 75 five times as much toxic lead as the law allows. The only reason these assassin's dreams come true remained on shelves was because the lead was in the vinyl, not the paint.

#12: Magnetix

Just don't swallow them and you'll have barrels of fun!
These fun while they lasted magnets carried the obvious risk of kids swallowing them and choking to death, but they also had the added risk of coming together in your kids stomachs, tearing their intestines apart. 

#11: Clackers

These tiny wrecking balls were flying into things before the Wiimote was even a concept!
Current versions of this toy had light little balls that wouldn't cause much harm. Past versions, however, had much heavier balls that could easily break noses and teeth if swung with enough force.

#10: Cabbage Patch Kids Snacktime Doll

"We don't need any chewing dolls!" Head Elf from Rudolf The Red-Nosed Reindeer, 1964
These dolls turned cannibals were originally intended to consume plastic foods, but they soon developed a taste for the fingers of curious children. They didn't have an off switch, so the only ways to stop it from biting your kid's finger off were to remove the batteries or take a blunt instrument to the doll's head.

#9: Barbie Sky Dancers

Squadalah, your teeth are off!
When these murderous Barbie dolls were flying, their spinning wings had enough force to lacerate faces, break teeth and even cause blindness in whatever kid got too close. That's pretty strong for a doll that your toddler would tower over.

#8: Tie N Tangle

Who thought this was a good idea?
This rope version of Twister carried the obvious risk of strangulation. As if that wasn't bad enough, the ropes were too strong to be broken by hand, so scissors need to be grabbed ASAP if one of the ropes found its way around your neck.

#7: Aqua Leisure Inflatable Baby Boats

Kinda ironic that a small boat aimed at toddlers can't hold one up!
The leg straps of these poorly made boats were too weak to hold the weight of your baby, so he or she might drown just for trying to use the thing. What's worse is they knew of this design flaw and did nothing about it!

#6: Easy Bake Oven

Keep your fingers away!
When Hasbro redesigned their kid safe ovens in 2006, they accidentally made it so kids could get their fingers stuck in the loading openings and burned by the ceramic heating cores. Fortunately, these children's cooking systems gone wrong were recalled by the thousands and Hasbro redesigned future models so this wouldn't happen again.

#5: Fisher-Price Power Wheels Motorcycle

Your kid's whee will turn into a deuueaugh once this thing spirals outta control!
Even Fisher-Price has a few murder weapons in its otherwise harmless collection of toys. Giving your little one his or her own small motorcycle seems like a fun idea... Until they run into an actual automobile because the accelerator jammed.

#4: Bindeez and Pixos

You keep your unconsciousness inducing drugs away from me!
Before their were Aqua Dots, there were these poison capsules in disguise. The very small beads were covered with a chemical that actually turns into GBH (a freaking date rape drug) when swallowed. Thank goodness this chemical is absent in Aqua Dots.

#3: Lawn Darts

Forget shooting an eye out! With these you'll gouge an eye out!
Easily the most infamous death trap disguised as a toy, these sharp missiles were meant to be thrown at large targets on the lawn. To the surprise of nobody, many reports of injuries and even a few deaths caused by these darts led to them being banned forever.

#2: CSI Fingerprint Examination Kit

I said hold the toxic substance!
Besides this play kit being sold to people of the wrong age, the dust used to look for fingerprints had asbestos mixed into it. Apparently whoever sold this thing to children wanted to make some crime scenes of their own.

#1: Atomic Energy Lab

Nothing says merry Christmas quite like stuff that goes into nuclear bombs!
This little science toy lets kid experiment with radioactive materials, even including some uranium in the box. Is anyone surprised this thing is gone?

Whoever market these at kids was clearly in the wrong marketing department. Given the sheer amount of toys out there, there are bound to be some I've missed. If you know of any, leave some names in the comment section. I'll see you later. Have a Merry Christmas.

Sources

20 Hilariously worthless inventions

Not everyone has the creativity to rival Apple or Microsoft. From underpants that go on your hands to tiny motorized fans on chopsticks, join me as we count down 20 inventions that are only worth buying for comedic value.

#20: Gold poop pills

Who wants their waste to be gold colored?
Over spending at it's finest!

#19: Toilet golf

If you don't have a phone, iPod or handheld gaming console to entertain you on the can, this is the next best thing.
It's good putting practice at least.

#18: Umbrella high heel shoes

Keep the fronts of them shoes dry, buddy!
There's something you don't see everyday!

#17: Pizza cutter fork

Don't just cut your pizza, impale it as well!
It's pizza time!

#16: Fan chopsticks

If you're too lazy to blow on your ramen, let this thing do it for you.
This blows!

#15: Butter stick

Having trouble spreading butter the old fashioned way? Just stick it in a lipstick and use that!
The tastiest lipstick ever!

#14: Useless box

Turn this thing on and it turns itself off.
Pretty self-explanatory.

#13: Banana bunker

You know what can protect your banana and many other foods? A lunch box!
Hey why don't tomatoes and kiwis have their own protective cases?

#12: Grilled Cheesus sandwich press

You know you've met an immensely devout Christian when they put the face of Jesus Christ on their toast!
Why did George Foreman never think of this?

#11: Ice cream pint combination lock

A good way to keep your ice cream... unless you forget what the combination is.

Because you're a selfish bastard!

#10: Nothing

Paying 10 bucks for a package you know is empty? What kind of world is this?!
Why not?

#9: Burger exhaust grill

This is perfect for those who want carbon monoxide poisoning with their ground beef.
It's not like there's burger joints all over the place!

#8: Beer phone

This is still much safer than drunk driving, I tell you what.
A perfect gift for any alcoholic!

#7: Fundies

Who thought that romantic couples needed to wear the same pair of underwear?
Hey you do you, just keep it private!

#6: Educational toilet paper

Learn while on the can? Why not?
Again, smartphones are a thing!

#5: Diet water

Last time I checked, water was already one of the healthiest drinks you can consume.
People will make diet anything, won't they?

#4: Chopstick glasses

I've heard of keeping chopsticks on you at all times, but this is ridiculous!
Perfect for when evil ramen noodle start attacking!

#3: Toilet paper hat

There are better ways of keeping paper on you at nearly all times than wearing a toilet paper roll on your head.
Because just keeping napkins in your pocket is so silly!

#2: USB pet rock

Watch as nothing happens once you plug this rock in! 
At the very least, this gift can potentially double as a makeshift mace.

#1: Handerpants

These are essentially fingerless gloves colored to look like underpants. That sentence explains itself.
I've got nothing.

Yes, these things are real and given how often people like to invent, there are bound to me more gag gifts. If you can think of any I missed, feel free to name them in the comments. I'll see you later. Have a merry Christmas.

References