30 Phone numbers to call when you're bored

 Who said all phone numbers need a point beyond entertainment? Whether they supposedly contact fictional characters, make funny noises or come from video games and movies, here are 30 phone numbers that let you release your inner Bart Simpson. Note: I can't guarantee that all of these numbers will work, as some of them could've gone out of service. You'll just have to test them out if you desire.

#30: Santa: 951-262-3062

Merry Christmas!

#29: Keep an Idiot Entertained Hotline: 605-475-6962

If you're IQ impaired, this number will keep your attention for hours!

#28: Rejection Hotline: 605-475-6968

Call you in 2000 never, ok?

#27: Murray Bauman: 618-625-8313

Stranger Things always happen when you least expect them.

#26: Bad Breath hotline: 605–475–6959

At least the people operating this hotline can't smell your breath!

#25: God of War: 1-888-447-5594

Join the Kratos cause now!

#24: The Sobriety Hotline: 605-475-6958

Are you drunk? Find out here!

#23: Callin Oats: 719-26-OATES

Nothing like Hall & Oats to blare through your phone!

#22: Stop Complaining: 605-475-6973

It could always get worse... Unless of course you're in Hell!

#21: Sex Addiction Intervention: 605-475-6972

If your friend acts a little too much like Quagmire, get them help and them give them this number!

#20: Jessica Rabbit: 1-800-232-3324

A number that once gave you hints for LJN's Roger Rabit NES game now links you to a sex hotline. Awkward...

#19: Saints Row: Gat Out of Hell: 1-866-573-6626

That's a Hell of a title!

#18: InFamous Second Son: 1-844-help-dup

If you need help with this game, here you go!

#17: SCP Foundation: 951-572-2602

If you found any anomalies recently, let these guys know.

#16: Boothworld Industries: 630-296-7536

Your friendly neighborhood "remodeling" agent!

#15: Red Room: 408-634-2806

Don't kidnap me! Don't kidnap me!

#14: Ghost Busters: 212-897-1964

Who you gonna call?d

#13: Sike-chiatric Ward: 605–475–6967

If you think this number leads to Nintendo, you're crazy!

#12: He-Man: 1-900-909-1122

I didn't know the He-Man universe had phones.

#11: Kentucky Route Zero: 270-301-5797

It's Kentucky fried conversation right here!

#10: Bensplayhouse: 501-483-9856

Wanna play?

#9: Oct282011: 409-223-3735

And things get creepier...

#8: Nintendo Power Line: 425-885-5797

Now you're playing with power! 

#7: RickRoll Hotline: 778-330-2389

Some memes just never die, am I right?

#6: NIN: 1-216-333-1810

This number doesn't connect to Trent Reznor, but it holds a creepy surprise...

#5: Hilarious Message Test: 914-737-9938

Pretty self-explanatory.

#4: Better Call Saul: 505-503-4455

Who better than Saul to give you legal advice?

#3: Wrinkles the Clown: 407-734-0254

Creepy clowns r us...

#2: Alan Wake: 1-857-239-7601

Alan, please add details.

#1: Divorce Hotline: 605-675-6960

The fancy way of saying "I want a divorce"!

Sources

• Logic Publishers
  
• Ring Boost
  
• Legit
  
• Jobsintanzania
  
• WatchMojo
  
• Nostalgia Critic
• Night Mind
  
• BizarreBub
• Angry Video Game Nerd
• BlameItOnJorge
• Ownage Pranks
• The Ghost in my Machine
  
• The Province
  

20 Incredibly inappropriate toys for kids

 If you're looking for the perfect toy to get your kids this Christmas, look elsewhere. Whether they portray outdated racial stereotypes, are innuendos incarnate or straight up drop the murder bomb, here are 20 toys that I kid you not are real. Note: If you want toys that can be used as weapons, check this list which I made back during this blog's first year of existence.  Caution: This list contains references to old, possibly outdated memes, at least much more so than my other lists. If you're allergic to those, turn back now!!!

#20: Poo-doh

Nice of Play-Doh to make something for the grossout fans, eh reader?

Might as well get the fecal matter related toys out of the way.

#19: E.T. Finger

This thing's creep factor is over nine thousand!!!

E.T. phone home. I phone my therapist.

#18: 9-11 Toy

We're the twin towers, bitch!

We still remember, and we still react poorly to representations of it in media!

#17: Kaba Kick

#YOLO, unless of course your method of suicide is completely harmless!

A version of Russian Roulette where nobody dies? Sign me up!

#16: Peekaboo Pole Dancing Toy

How I hate those child pole dancers! How they make my stomach turn!

It would be really ironic if this wasn't suggested by an adult pole dancer!

#15: Pregnant Barbie doll

That's Mama Barbie to you, reader! "Wheeze"

Give the Barbie franchise credit for having the balls to do this!

#14: Plush STDs

Yo dawg. I heard you like STD toys, so I put a pic of them on this blog!

Spoiler alety, the actual diseases are nowhere near as cute as the image above makes them look!

#13: Jar Jar Lollipop

This is taking so uncivilized to a disturbing new level!

"I wanna French kiss Jar Jar Binks!" Said nobody, ever... At least, I hope.

#12: Pee and Poo

Click here for more info on this... Art piece.

Why is toilet humor so popular!?

#11: Rad Repeatin Tarzan

I can't believe this exists. You know who can? Chuck Norris!

More like self-pleasing tarzan, am I right? Seriously though, If you're gonna do this, at least do it where no one can see you!

#10: Avenging Narwal

THIS! IS! NARWAL! (Stabs something).

Forget the circle of life, here comes the circle of death!

#9: Winnie the Pooh ring thing

You hear that? That's the sound of Pooh fans everywhere going "Deuueaugh"!

Winnie put that thing away, you're a children's show icon for God's sake!

#8: Wolverine balloon hammer

You know what really grinds my gears? Stuff like this!

Ever wanted to blow Wolverine? Please don't answer that...

#7: Buzz Lightyear drinking cup

Is that a draw sticking out of your base or are you just happy to see me?

Oh, come on! This is ridiculous

#6: Rocket launching Punisher

He has a condition, and the only cure is more cowbell!

Okay, now we've gone too far! I can't possibly be the only one who thinks that!

#5: Pretty Death Toy Noose

U mad bro/sis? I know I am!

Nothing says kid friendly quite like methods of suicide, am I right?

#4: Adolf Hitler doll

This is looking a little sus, don't you think?

Do I even need to explain this one?

#3: Roadkill cat figurine

All your disemboweled cats are belong to us!

#Nasty!

#2: Baby's first Baby

Me and the boys wondering who the #%@$ approved this thing.

This is just wrong, and the fetus also being pregnant doesn't help in the slightest!

#1: Evil Stick

NO GOD! NO GOD PLEASE NO! NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

When they called it an evil stick they weren't kidding!

I'm glad I didn't get any of these controversial toys. Also, I apologize if you got a little triggered reading this. Thanks for reading. Have a merry Christmas and please, don't get these toys for your little ones.

Sources

• The Things
  
• Planet Dolan
• Cracked
  
• Joeotoole
  
• Lolwot

15 Outrageous sandwiches

When the sandwich was invented decades ago, I doubt the inventors foresaw these being things. Whether they have unconventional ingredients, use something other than bread to hold it all together or just look wrong, here are 15 sandwiches you won't find on the average restaurant menu. 

#15: Ramen Burger

A bit of Japanese culture never hurt!

Essentially this is a burger with ramen noodles instead of traditional buns. Pretty self-explanatory, if I'm being honest.

#14: Cheetos Chicken Sandwich

It ain't easy being cheesy!

This KFC-made chicken sandwich includes a bunch of Cheetos and Cheeto sauce, whatever that is.

#13: SufganiKing

That's one way to get into the Hanukah spirit...

Available in Burger King Israel and made as a tribute to Hanukah, this burger has savory donuts buns filled with ketchup.

#12: Rodeo Burger

Ride em cowboy/cowgirl/horse/whatever you are reading this!

This item is available on Burger King's secret menu and tops the usual burger patty with onion rings and barbecue sauce.

#11: Lobster and Caviar Sandwich

Can't tell if this is fancy or too odd for consumer...

Made by Wendy's Tokyo, this is a burger with lobster meat and caviar added to it. Due to the price of the ingredients, this item is more expensive than the average burger.

#10: The Elvis

Eat like the king, just not everyday!

A favorite of Rock N Roll legend Elvis Presley, this sandwich consists of peanut butter, sliced bananas and bacon.

#9: Twinkie weiner sandwich

Leave it to Weird Al to make something funny!

Born from the creative mind of Weird Al, this sandwich consists of a hot dog placed in the middle of a hollowed out Twinkie and topped with spray cheese.

#8: Meat Mountain

Carnivores rejoice! Vegetarians weep!

This crazy big item was featured on one this blog's first lists. Available on Arby's secret menu, this sandwich consists of a little of every type of meat the sandwich has to offer, plus a little cheese thrown in for good measure.

#7: Spam and Oreo Burger

I'm not loving it!

Made by McDonald's in China, this is a burger with 2 slices of Spam and crushed up Oreo cookies.

#6: Double Down

Bread? Nah.

An infamous KFC creation, this is a bacon and cheese with 2 pieces of fried chicken in place of buns.

#5: Fool's Gold Loaf

At least this one has some nutritional value amongst the calories.

Another favorite of Elvis Presley, this sandwich consists of an entire loaf of bread that's been hollowed out and stuffed with as much peanut butter, jelly and bacon as will fit inside it.

#4: Luther Burger

A good alternate name would be heart stopper!

Another infamous sandwich, this is basically a hamburger with glazed donuts for buns. For even greater unhealthiness, add some cheese and/or bacon.

#3: Defibrillator

More like the Mc rip you're @%$#ing intestines apart!

This is an angus beef burger topped with deep-fried pickles, deep-fried cheese curds, deep-fried bacon slices, and cheddar cheese and has 2 grilled cheese sandwiches instead of buns. 

#2: Big Fat Fatty

This'll ruin any diet!

This item made it onto a previous list and it's still quite insane. It is 27 inch garlic hero roll with five burger patties, one and a half pound of cheesesteak, one and a half pound of pastrami, chicken fingers, an entire package of bacon, mozzarella sticks, five fried eggs, jalapeño poppers, french fries and onion rings topped with chili, marinara and fat sauce.

#1: Fried Brain Sandwich

Wanna eat some brains? Seek help and then seek this delicacy!

Those who've followed this blog since 2019 might remember this one. True to the name, this sandwich is filled with a fried cow or pig's brain.

I'm not sure if I should call the people who made these creative or nuts. If you know of any other sandwiches that make no sense or have some crazy concoctions of your own, feel free to leave some suggestions in the comment section. Thanks for viewing and have a happy Thanksgiving.

Sources

• Wikipedia
• Story Pick
  
• WatchMojo
  
• Matthew Santoro
• TV Tropes

30 Alternatives to candy to give out this Halloween

 Tired of giving out candy each Halloween? Maybe I can help. Whether it's healthy stuff, gags or other stuff, here are 30 things to give out to trick or treaters instead of candy. Caution: This is a gag blog. Don't try this at home (especially giving out some of the... Less pleasant stuff) unless of course you like getting your house covered in tp or rotten eggs.

#30: Apples

Give em something with some nutritional value!

#29: Baloney!

A HA HA HA HA!    

#28: Chocolate covered "peanuts"

Just don't tell the recipients that they're actually garlic cloves. Hey, why not pull a prank or two this holiday?

#27: Kids show/movie dvds

This'll entertain them much longer than any candy bar. Be sure to include some Caillou and/or Peppa Pig if you want to torment the parents.

#26: Frozen pipes disguised as ice pops

It'll be just like A Christmas Story, but with a much smaller pole.

#25: A good scare

For best results, wear a scary mask and scream as you open the door. Just don't do this to someone with heart problems.

#24: Some pocket change

Tell them to buy their own dang candy!

#23: Miniature bibles

Tell them about Jesus while they're still impressionable.

#22: Grapes disguised as eyeballs

Bleuch!!!

#21: Sleep gummies

At least you're doing the parents a favor, right?

#20: Expired restaurant coupons

Oh the disappointment!

#19: Mini soda bottles

Just make sure the caps are screwed on real tight so the recipients will have a hard time opening them!

#18: Nuts and bolts

As well as directions to your enemy's home. And tell the kids that said enemy stole all your trick or treat candy!

#17: Rocks

Optional step: Pray they don't get thrown at your house. Just because Charlie Brown took getting these in stride doesn't mean every trick or treater will!

#16: Another good scare

Those kids are gonna be scared witless if you spontaneously "die" and then "come back to life" right in front of they're eyes! Again, don't do this to people with heart problems.

#15: Wooden stakes

Just in case a vampire attacks!

#14: Ghost peppers

NO! NOT INTO THE MOUTH!!! IT BUUUURRRNNNSSSS!!!!!!!

#13: Dental stuff (toothpaste/floss etc)

They'll thank you when they don't have cavities from all the candy they'll inevitably indulge in!

#12: Completely empty batteries

Because your a jerk!

#11: Bacon

Depending on whose at your door, they might just like this more than Butterfingers or Pixie sticks.

#10: A sneeze

This one's self-explanatory.

#9: Used up gift cards

This will get on their bad sides!

#8: Worms

If you want to be extra jerky, color them so they look like gummy worms first.

#7: Fake gemstones

If the trick-or-treaters at your door are gullible, they'll think they're rich!

#6: Fake poop

EEEWWW!!!

#5: Retro game controllers sans cords

At least they'll make cool fidget toys.

#4: Toilet paper and eggs

Better them than you!

#3: A scream in the ear

AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

#2: Indecent exposure

Flash em baby!

#1: Expired candy

Honestly, this might just be the worst thing on this list.

Just to remind you, this list is just for fun and shouldn't be taken seriously. Nonetheless I hope you enjoyed. Thanks for reading and have a safe and happy Halloween. Also click here for a similar list on I-Mockery, which I did not steal the idea for this list from.

15 Horrifying unused content in video games

Sometimes the scariest things in video games are stuff that never left the cutting room floor. Whether they be unused enemies that look like they belong in the SCP Foundation or Trevor Henderson Universe, nightmarish scrapped cutscenes or placeholders that have no business in these games, join me as we count down 15 things that were rightfully not included in these video games. Warning: This list contains some really messed up stuff. Viewer's discretion is advised.

#15: Knuckles Chaotix: Bloody skull

Whose skull is that?

Found with this game's files is this bloody skull with the word "tobu" written in Japanese under it. It's purpose is unknown.

#14: South Park the Stick of Truth: Pip's skull

Way to respect your dead, South Park!

Speaking of skulls, located in deep in the files of this game is the skull of Pip, an English child character who was killed off in South Parks fourteenth season. Even worse, it was apparently supposed to be a weapon.

#13: SpongeBob Saves the Day: Yummer

Hey look, the lost Flying Dutchman crewmate!

Located deep within the files of this game is this creepy looking face that appears to be partially hiding behind something. Fortunately, this was comfirmed to be nothing more than a placeholder.

#12: Race with Ryan: Creepy face

Was Ryan supposed to die at one point in this game?!

Hidden within the files of this game is a disturbing face with x eyes, a stitched mouth and red scribbles resembling blood. Even worse, this is located with the textures for Ryan's face.

#11: Cuphead: Beetrice Lutz/Betty Beet

This is messed up!

Located only in concept art, there is this unused beet enemy that appears to cry and attack by throwing her own offspring at the heroes. It is unknown why this boss was scrapped, though if I had to guess I'd say the concept was too dark for this game.

#10: Halo 2: Flood Infector

Just when you thought the Flood couldn't get more disgusting!

Found in The Art of Halo 3 artbook is this unused Flood form. Apparently it would've been able to regenerate its legs in seconds and would've spread Flood forms to take control over any nearby human or Covenant vehicles.

#9: Half-Life 2: Mr. Friendly

The Backrooms monsters are invading!

This alien was supposed to grab Gordon Freeman and induce "fatal copulation" unto him. Apparently Half-Life 2 was originally going to include sexual themes with some of its enemies to garner response from homophobic players.

#8: Left 4 Dead: The Screamer

Just what the zombie apocalypse needs!

Originally there was gonna be a special infected that would've screamed loudly to summon hordes of common infected. This monster was cut because he was deemed to difficult and confusing for new players to spot, so the horde summoning ability was given to the Boomer instead. 

#7: Friday Night Funkin: Monster's original design

Just when you thought shadow people couldn't get scarier!

As scary as the Monster is, his beta design is much worse. Along with the blood red eyes and teeth, this thing is looks like a huge shadow and is sticking out of a bloody Jack-o-lantern. 

#6: Luigi's Mansion: Elh.Spz

Who you gonna call?

Little is known about this twisted looking thing. Apparently it was supposed to be an enemy, as there are animations of it attacking and getting damage.

#5: Team Fortress 2: Afterburn death animations

Burn baby burn!

Added in the Pyromania updates were animations of the classes (sans the Pyro) flailing around before falling to the ground, possibly succumbing to afterburn. It's unknown why they were added or unused.

#4: Bully: Unused death scene

That's one way to get rid of somebody...

Originally when Jimmy was defeated at the chemical plant, a cutscene would've played showing Jimmy sinking into a pool of acid while Edgar mocked him.

#3: Conker's Bad Fur Day: Torture cutscene

Avert your eyes kids!

At one point when Conker infiltrated the Tediz base, he would've witnessed 2 Tediz dissecting an unfortunate squirrel soldier while he as alive and begging for mercy. Thankfully, this was replaced by a cutscene of 2 Tediz debating about the quality of the game before spotting Conker and getting "back into character".

#2: Mother 3: Unused boss

Ok, NOW we're getting scary!

Hiding deep within the files of Mother 3 are multiple backgrounds of an unused boss, including a distorted image of the games protagonist Lucas and the Giygas-like face above this paragraph. This boss is believed to be intended for a darker version of the final boss battle.

#1: Silent Hill series: Unused monsters

What is that thing?!

The Silent Hill series is host to a number of scrapped monsters, some of which could give Pyramid head a run for his money. Some examples include zombie miners with pickaxes for hands, human-like abominations fused with wheelchairs and living hunks of meat. For a complete list, click here.

You know, going through the scrapped and unused parts of games is quite interesting. You never know what you're gonna find.

Sources

• Heavy
  
• The Cutting Room Floor
  
• Oddheader
• Kotaku
  
• Did You Know Gaming?
• Various wikis
• TetraBitGaming
• Valiskibum94