There's master thieves and then there's these dumbasses. From trying to car jack someone shortly after being released from prison to bragging about your crime on social media, join me as we count down 15 of the dumbest people ever to lead a life of crime.
#15: Jonathon Parker
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| Apparently social media is more important than escaping the house you just robbed. |
When this moron found some diamond rings in the house he was robbing, his first response was to check his Facebook newsfeed from the owner's computer. As if that wasn't enough, he forgot to log out, making it insanely easy for the cops to identify and arrest him.
#14: Klaus Schmidt
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| If he could hear, he'd known to run before the cops arrived! |
While trying to rob a bank, the employees found out this idiot was deaf when he stated "You're damn right it's a real gun!" when asked if he needed a bag. The staff's next decision was to sound the alarm, which Klaus didn't realize until the cops came to put him behind bars. Funnily enough, he would later try to sue the bank for exploiting his disability, which didn't go well because their exploitation wasn't unjustified.
#13: Willian Alves
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| Right idea, wrong container! |
This dork tried to escape a Brazilian prison by hiding in a kitchen trash can and covering himself with garbage. A neat idea, but he forgot 2 things: the cans were too small for him to fully conceal himself in and the cleanup crew would no doubt wonder why the medium-sized cans were as heavy as a human being.
#12: Darren Kimpton
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If at first you don't succeed, try again. Just wait for the cops to leave first!
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This incompetent thief's attempt at breaking into a home ended with him cutting himself on broken window glass, leaving his blood on the crime scene as he fled. His second attempt would've been more successful... If the house he broke into wasn't full of cops investigating a different crime.
#11: Joey Miller and Matthew McNelly
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| All the permanent marked did was make these two look like dorks! |
Instead of a ski mask, these guys tried to disguise their faces with permanent maker. You know, the kind of marker that is almost impossible to remove. Sufficient to say, their disguises failed miserably and they were arrested pronto.
#10: Eloise Reaves
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| Fess up, how many of you thought only males were gonna be on this list? |
After buying crack, this drug buying bimbo went to the authorities to complain about the drug's quality. She apparently forgot that crack was illegal until the cops took her away.
#9: John Mogan and Ashley Buboe
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Bragging about your crime on social media is like begging to be arrested!
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After robbing a bank, this Ohio couple thought it would be a good idea to brag on Facebook about how their successful heist. They even went as far as showing off the money they stole. In this case, the criminals put 2 and 2 together for the police and got themselves a not so lovely jail cell.
#8: Frank Singleton
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| Look what laziness got you! |
The first thing this guy did after being released from prison was to car jack a woman right in the prison's parking lot! He was thwarted by his inability to operate the car's stick shift and was put right back in a holding cell. Reportedly, he claimed he returned to a life of time so quickly because he didn't feel like walking.
#7: Derrick Mosley
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| Taking bats to gun stores? Very smart! |
Wielding a baseball bat, this guy tried to rob a gun store. After the owner pulled out a gun, all Derrick could do was cower in a corner as he waited for the police to arrive.
#6: Albert Bailey(pictured)/Daniel Glen
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| "Have my robbery money out by 4 or else!" |
This is a tie because these are both separate incidents with essentially the same setup and outcome. These warning happy thugs tried to rob a bank... After calling said bank and telling them to have the money ready. The only thing he found there were some cops, who were most likely wondering how stupid they could possibly be.
#5: Krystian Bala
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| On the plus side, Amok sold quite nicely. |
After murdering someone, this Jack the Ripper wannabe decided to write a book called Amok, which detailed a murder similar to the one he commited. Eventually the cops connected the dots and Bala was sent to jail.
#4: Mohammad Ashan
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| If only all terrorists were this easy to capture. |
This Afghanistan Taliban commander turned brainless buffoon turned himself into the police to collect the $100 bounty that was placed on him. This ended about as well as you'd imagine.
#3: Ruben Zarate
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| "Just call when the manager returns and I'll rob you then." |
This ambitious if dimwitted fiend went to rob a muffler shop, only to find out that all the money was in the safe and only the then absent manager could open it. To save himself time, he stupidly gave the bank his phone number and told them to call him when the manager returned. Instead, the bank called the cops, then they called Reuben and waited to watch his shocked reaction to finding the police there.
#2: James Blankenship
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| I doubt even Beavis and Butt-Head would believe this guy! |
This loophole finding dummy heard a ridiculous rumor: burglaries are only illegal if done at night. This led to him trying to rob his mother's house and being chased down by police, who were most likely amused by his idiocy.
#1: Christopher Kron
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| People not cut out for a life of crime exhibit A! |
It'd be pretty hard to botch up a burglary as bad as this jackass. He broke into a store and made no effort to escape despite the alarm ringing in his ear. When the security company rang the place up, he answered the phone and told the caller his real name before finally leaving with a few beer bottles in hand. The next day, he returned to the store and was immediately put behind bars.
The moral of the story: If you're gonna lead a life of crime (which I highly suggest you
don't), bring a brain with you. If you know of some brainless law breakers you think should be on this list, feel free to mention some names in the comment section. I'll see you later. Have a good day or night depending on what time it is.
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