Sunday, October 31, 2021

30 Alternatives to candy to give out this Halloween

 Tired of giving out candy each Halloween? Maybe I can help. Whether it's healthy stuff, gags or other stuff, here are 30 things to give out to trick or treaters instead of candy. Caution: This is a gag blog. Don't try this at home (especially giving out some of the... Less pleasant stuff) unless of course you like getting your house covered in tp or rotten eggs.

#30: Apples

Give em something with some nutritional value!

#29: Baloney!

A HA HA HA HA!    

#28: Chocolate covered "peanuts"

Just don't tell the recipients that they're actually garlic cloves. Hey, why not pull a prank or two this holiday?

#27: Kids show/movie dvds

This'll entertain them much longer than any candy bar. Be sure to include some Caillou and/or Peppa Pig if you want to torment the parents.

#26: Frozen pipes disguised as ice pops

It'll be just like A Christmas Story, but with a much smaller pole.

#25: A good scare

For best results, wear a scary mask and scream as you open the door. Just don't do this to someone with heart problems.

#24: Some pocket change

Tell them to buy their own dang candy!

#23: Miniature bibles

Tell them about Jesus while they're still impressionable.

#22: Grapes disguised as eyeballs

Bleuch!!!

#21: Sleep gummies

At least you're doing the parents a favor, right?

#20: Expired restaurant coupons

Oh the disappointment!

#19: Mini soda bottles

Just make sure the caps are screwed on real tight so the recipients will have a hard time opening them!

#18: Nuts and bolts

As well as directions to your enemy's home. And tell the kids that said enemy stole all your trick or treat candy!

#17: Rocks

Optional step: Pray they don't get thrown at your house. Just because Charlie Brown took getting these in stride doesn't mean every trick or treater will!

#16: Another good scare

Those kids are gonna be scared witless if you spontaneously "die" and then "come back to life" right in front of they're eyes! Again, don't do this to people with heart problems.

#15: Wooden stakes

Just in case a vampire attacks!

#14: Ghost peppers

NO! NOT INTO THE MOUTH!!! IT BUUUURRRNNNSSSS!!!!!!!

#13: Dental stuff (toothpaste/floss etc)

They'll thank you when they don't have cavities from all the candy they'll inevitably indulge in!

#12: Completely empty batteries

Because your a jerk!

#11: Bacon

Depending on whose at your door, they might just like this more than Butterfingers or Pixie sticks.

#10: A sneeze

This one's self-explanatory.

#9: Used up gift cards

This will get on their bad sides!

#8: Worms

If you want to be extra jerky, color them so they look like gummy worms first.

#7: Fake gemstones

If the trick-or-treaters at your door are gullible, they'll think they're rich!

#6: Fake poop

EEEWWW!!!

#5: Retro game controllers sans cords

At least they'll make cool fidget toys.

#4: Toilet paper and eggs

Better them than you!

#3: A scream in the ear

AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

#2: Indecent exposure

Flash em baby!

#1: Expired candy

Honestly, this might just be the worst thing on this list.

Just to remind you, this list is just for fun and shouldn't be taken seriously. Nonetheless I hope you enjoyed. Thanks for reading and have a safe and happy Halloween. Also click here for a similar list on I-Mockery, which I did not steal the idea for this list from.

15 Horrifying unused content in video games

Sometimes the scariest things in video games are stuff that never left the cutting room floor. Whether they be unused enemies that look like they belong in the SCP Foundation or Trevor Henderson Universe, nightmarish scrapped cutscenes or placeholders that have no business in these games, join me as we count down 15 things that were rightfully not included in these video games. Warning: This list contains some really messed up stuff. Viewer's discretion is advised.

#15: Knuckles Chaotix: Bloody skull

Whose skull is that?

Found with this game's files is this bloody skull with the word "tobu" written in Japanese under it. It's purpose is unknown.

#14: South Park the Stick of Truth: Pip's skull

Way to respect your dead, South Park!

Speaking of skulls, located in deep in the files of this game is the skull of Pip, an English child character who was killed off in South Parks fourteenth season. Even worse, it was apparently supposed to be a weapon.

#13: SpongeBob Saves the Day: Yummer

Hey look, the lost Flying Dutchman crewmate!

Located deep within the files of this game is this creepy looking face that appears to be partially hiding behind something. Fortunately, this was comfirmed to be nothing more than a placeholder.

#12: Race with Ryan: Creepy face

Was Ryan supposed to die at one point in this game?!

Hidden within the files of this game is a disturbing face with x eyes, a stitched mouth and red scribbles resembling blood. Even worse, this is located with the textures for Ryan's face.

#11: Cuphead: Beetrice Lutz/Betty Beet

This is messed up!

Located only in concept art, there is this unused beet enemy that appears to cry and attack by throwing her own offspring at the heroes. It is unknown why this boss was scrapped, though if I had to guess I'd say the concept was too dark for this game.

#10: Halo 2: Flood Infector

Just when you thought the Flood couldn't get more disgusting!

Found in The Art of Halo 3 artbook is this unused Flood form. Apparently it would've been able to regenerate its legs in seconds and would've spread Flood forms to take control over any nearby human or Covenant vehicles.

#9: Half-Life 2: Mr. Friendly

The Backrooms monsters are invading!

This alien was supposed to grab Gordon Freeman and induce "fatal copulation" unto him. Apparently Half-Life 2 was originally going to include sexual themes with some of its enemies to garner response from homophobic players.

#8: Left 4 Dead: The Screamer

Just what the zombie apocalypse needs!

Originally there was gonna be a special infected that would've screamed loudly to summon hordes of common infected. This monster was cut because he was deemed to difficult and confusing for new players to spot, so the horde summoning ability was given to the Boomer instead. 

#7: Friday Night Funkin: Monster's original design

Just when you thought shadow people couldn't get scarier!

As scary as the Monster is, his beta design is much worse. Along with the blood red eyes and teeth, this thing is looks like a huge shadow and is sticking out of a bloody Jack-o-lantern. 

#6: Luigi's Mansion: Elh.Spz

Who you gonna call?

Little is known about this twisted looking thing. Apparently it was supposed to be an enemy, as there are animations of it attacking and getting damage.

#5: Team Fortress 2: Afterburn death animations

Burn baby burn!

Added in the Pyromania updates were animations of the classes (sans the Pyro) flailing around before falling to the ground, possibly succumbing to afterburn. It's unknown why they were added or unused.

#4: Bully: Unused death scene

That's one way to get rid of somebody...

Originally when Jimmy was defeated at the chemical plant, a cutscene would've played showing Jimmy sinking into a pool of acid while Edgar mocked him.

#3: Conker's Bad Fur Day: Torture cutscene

Avert your eyes kids!

At one point when Conker infiltrated the Tediz base, he would've witnessed 2 Tediz dissecting an unfortunate squirrel soldier while he as alive and begging for mercy. Thankfully, this was replaced by a cutscene of 2 Tediz debating about the quality of the game before spotting Conker and getting "back into character".

#2: Mother 3: Unused boss

Ok, NOW we're getting scary!

Hiding deep within the files of Mother 3 are multiple backgrounds of an unused boss, including a distorted image of the games protagonist Lucas and the Giygas-like face above this paragraph. This boss is believed to be intended for a darker version of the final boss battle.

#1: Silent Hill series: Unused monsters

What is that thing?!

The Silent Hill series is host to a number of scrapped monsters, some of which could give Pyramid head a run for his money. Some examples include zombie miners with pickaxes for hands, human-like abominations fused with wheelchairs and living hunks of meat. For a complete list, click here.

You know, going through the scrapped and unused parts of games is quite interesting. You never know what you're gonna find.

Sources