Saturday, January 9, 2021

10 Worst cartoon "protagonists"

You won't find these super stinkers near the Justice League or Avengers anytime soon. From incompetent jokers to conscience-free jerks, join me as we count down 10 of the worst designated "heroes" in cartoon history. To clarify, I will not be including characters like Cartman, Zim or Blackhat, as despite their protagonist titles they are clearly designed to be villains. I will also exclude characters like Rick Sanchez or BoJack Horseman, who have good reasons for being somewhat jerky.

#10: Mr. Krabs from seasons 5 through 8 SpongeBob SquarePants

He'll do anything for a buck, even if it means breaking the law!

In the first couple of seasons this crustacean was greedy, but quite well meaning and not too bad. In seasons 5 through 8, however, this changed quickly. Not only did his greed escalate to the point he'll drag people into his restaurant and force them to order food, several episodes showed him doing things like running a newspaper business that told life-ruining lies about the other customers, firing loyal employee SpongeBob just to save a nickel, and playing on Plankton's fear of whales to the extent he tried to kill himself. Fortunately, this character was reformed near the middle of season 9.

#9: Johnny Test from... well, Johnny Test

Not every kid is a good one.

This kid goes way beyond being just a little brat. Not only does he bug everyone around him with his whiney nature, he also causes major problems for his family and neighborhood by messing with his sisters' experiments. It doesn't help that he often receives little to no punishment for his misdeeds.

#8: The Teen Titans from Teen Titans Go!

Anyone else miss the old show?

Unlike their animated 2003 counterparts, these guys are really hard to like. Not only do they fight their enemies sometimes before they've even done anything, they also play harmful pranks on each other, wreck property, hurt innocent civilians and attacking their enemies before they've even done anything to warrant being attacked. That being said, the show does often bring up self-awareness about their unheroic behavior through self insults and the first movie puts them in a more positive light.

#7: Wally and Gus from Rocket Monkeys

These two are so bad even their own theme song mocks them!

Throughout this not so good show, these two morons repeatedly prove that they don't deserve their jobs as galactic patrol men. Not only do they cause rampant mayhem for everyone and everything around them, they also drove their arch enemy to villainy because they kept attacking him under the belief that he is a banana.

#6: Allen and Richard from... well, Allen Gregory

With characters like these, is it any wonder this show only lasted seven episodes?

These 2 are just plain rude. Allen is a self-absorbed little prick who treats nearly everyone around him like dirt and has a stalkerish crush on the much older principle of his school. Richard is no better. Not only did he stalk Jeremy until he left his family to be in an abusive relationship with him, he's also so incompetent at his job that the higher ups made him the "Super CEO" so he doesn't ruin the company.

#5: Henry and Ray from the Adventures of Kid Danger

Super heroes, they are not!

Sure they had moments of question morality in Henry Danger, but here they're just ridiculous. Not only do they repeatedly refuse to save the day because they were "too busy" playing video games or eating at a restaurant, but they also cause far more problems than any of the actual villains in the show.

#4: Sparky from The Fairly Oddparents

Don't let that big smile fool you, this guy is a menace to society!

This sob is widely considered one of the biggest reason for this show going down the toilet and its very easy to see why. From his first appearance alone, he caused immense problems with his magic and twice nearly got Timmy killed in a plane crash and a flood, while feeling no guilt about it. His appearances in other episodes were no better, to the point that fan's celebrated when he was confirmed to not be coming back for season 10.

#3: Peter Griffin from modern Family Guy

In all fairness, most of Family Guy's other main characters aren't much better.

He was once a well meaning if dimwitted and childish individual, but now he's one of the biggest jerks in cartoon history. He's abusive to his wife and kids, he's a major threat to everyone and everything around him and to top it all off, he virtually never regrets any of his actions and often gets off scot-free with them.

#2: Scrappy from The Little Pest

Scrappy (left) right before he sends his innocent little brother to make his maker.

This little bastard only appeared in a few old shorts, but this one alone puts him on the list. While going fishing, he repeatedly yells at his baby brother Oopie that he can't come along, going as far as to slap him hard enough to send him flying a short distance. When Oopie manages to catch up and accidentally tangles to fishing lines, Scrappy throws him right into the lake. As if that wasn't bad enough, he walks away pretending not to hear Oopie's cries for help and only goes in to save him so he doesn't get punished for his death. To top off this misery sundae, when the revived Oopie requests a drink of water, Scrappy responds by throwing him right back into the lake to drown.

#1: Ren from Ren & Stimpy Adult Party Cartoon

Somebody forgot their likeability pills today!

His original incarnation might've been a major jerk, but he least has some redeeming qualities. This version, however, is nothing but a monster. After a childhood of subjecting innocent animals to horrible torture, he lusts over scantily clad women, regularly consumes drugs and alcohol and is horribly abusive to Stimpy, even when he's supposedly pregnant.

Dishonerable mentions

Here are a few protagonists that aren't as bad as the ones above, though that's not a compliment.

Sway Sway and Beduece from Breadwinners

They mean well, they just don't have brains!

Yes these guys might annoy their fellow characters and cause more harm than good, but from what I've seen they have good hearts and often try to make up for their wrong doings, which is more than I can say for the characters who made the list.

Caillou and D.W. from Caillou and Arthur

You know the difference between these two, DarkSyde Phil and Onision? Two of them are obnoxious brats nobody likes and the other two are pictured above.

These kid might be highly obnoxious and prone to temper tantrums, but their wrong doings are nothing compared some of the stuff the entries above have done.

Bloo from Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends

Out of all the characters on this list, Bloo is possibly the most likeable.

I honestly don't get why some people hate this character to be honest. Yes he's bratty, selfish and willing to step all over his friends to get what he wants, but there have been countless times where he treats his friends like actual friends and the show often punishes him for his misdeeds.

Yeah, this probably isn't the most upbeat way to ring in the new year, but I hope you enjoyed reading this anyway. If you can think of any more protagonists who don't deserve that title, be sure to mention them. I'll see you later. Here's to hoping this is the year the Covid-19 pandemic comes to an end.

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