15 Insane banned phone apps you won't believe exist

 Y'know, online app stores are like boxes of chocolate. You never know what you're gonna get or what will be taken down. Whether they scam suckers I mean people, didn't work worth a darn or were so controversial that you wonder how they made it onto iTunes and/or Android in the first place, here are 15 mobile apps that were banned for life from app stores.

#15: I Am Rich

Believe it or not, 8 people actually downloaded this before it was removed.

For the price of a thousand bucks, you got an app that showed a bright sparkling gem... And that's it. You can literally get the same effect for free just by looking at the image above.

#14: Send Me To Heaven

Better your phone than your stupid ass! BTW this app is still on the Play Store for some stupid reason.

The goal of this game is to throw you phone as high in the air as possible. I don't mean an in game phone either. I mean your real life, probably very pricey phone that was definitely not meant to be thrown into the sky!

#13: Pokemon Yellow

Pokemon scam edition! Available in 2000 never!

This app pretending to be the classic Pokemon game did nothing but crash when you tried to start it. Several unfortunate people fell for this scam before Apple got rid of it and refunded their money.

#12: Call Blaze

Unaware Android users expecting a pleasant call from Blaze of the Monster Machines instead got a disturbingly nightmarish voice that threatened their kids lives. I'm sure Nick just loved this app when it was around!

#11: Me So Holy

That's not Jesus!

Yeah, nothing says "I'm a follower of God" like putting your own face over that of Jesus (or various other religious figures)!

#10: Relapse Resistance

Please for the love of God don't try this in real life!

Originally attempted to be released alongside Eninem's 2009 album Relapse, this game featured the infamous rapper going on a killing spree for seemingly no reason. Is it any wonder why Apple rejected this game?

#9: Driver's License

Did somebody say fraud?

A game that let's you make your own fake, but authentic driver's license? I don't see how that could go wrong!

#8: Dog Wars

I'm sure Peta won't mind this at all (not that anyone listens to them)...

Virtual dog fighting. I really don't wanna say more.

#7: Puff

Here's something you should show off to your fellow high school students!

All you do in this app is try to look up a girl's panties. As far as I know, this "game" wasn't made by somebody on DeviantArt.

#6: My Shoe

Trump's not the only president people make fun of!

This game recreates the infamous scene where some random nobody threw a show at former president George W. Bush.

#5: Phone Story

The dark side of consumerism everybody!

This is a game that was meant to and I quote "show the dark side of your favorite smart phone", showing off various hardships of less fortunate people in retro style but excruciating detail. While it was banned from the iStore, you can still play it in your browser here if you dare.

#4: Slash

Talk about bad timing!

For this app you swing your phone like you're trying to stab someone. This app had the bad luck of coming out during a wave of teen stabbings in the UK, hence why it was banned.

#3: Prohibition: The Dope Wars 2

The face many parents made when they saw this on their kids iPhones!

A game where you play a drug dealer might work for Newgrounds, but it doesn't work for iTunes as this app found out the hard way. On the plus side Candy War came out of its ashes.

#2: Manhattan Declaration

A phone that tried to be Christian, but instead pushed a manifesto that was condemned for bashing abortion and same sex marriage among other stuff. If you want you can read about it here. Because I don't know of any images that really show off this app, here's a funny YouTube Poop I used to watch a lot when I was a kid.

#1: Baby Shaker

A game where you shake a crying baby png until it dies. I'm not even comfortable showing a picture of this app, so instead here's another funny YouTube Poop I used to watch a lot when I was a kid.

It's amazing what app makers get away with these days (or don't in these cases). Whether your poison is iOS, Android, Windows or some other lesser known OS, thanks for reading this and enjoy your fancy new device. Just don't use it to make fake driver's licenses.

Sources

• Complex
  
• ScreenRant
  
• TV Tropes
  
• PC Mag
  
• Times of India
  

20 Hilarious anti-piracy measures in games

 Yo ho ho and a bucket of screw you! Whether they break the game, shame the hell outta you or pull TikTok worthy pranks, here are 20 super clever and funny ways that video games tried to prevent piracy. Note: Only real anti-piracy measures will be shown, so no Mario Party DS shenanigans nor any fanmade screens that do their best Sonic.exe impressions.

#20: Gold Rush: Hung for your crimes

Bet ya Nintendo wishes they could do this to video game pirates!

Like many computer games made during the 80s, this game started with a question that back then you could only answer if you had the instruction book or a code wheel of sorts, which didn't come with pirated copies. In this game's case, answering the question incorrectly showed your character being hung in front of a disapproving crowd.

#19: Ocarina of Time: YOU MUST DIE!!!

Hey, as long as that BEN fellow isn't involved, I'll be alright.

Okay, let's say you managed to get to the end of this game after several hours, but your copy of the game came from an online torrent site rather than your local video game store. Near the end of the game Zelda acts like she's gonna open a set bars, but instead she walks right through them, leaving you to die in Ganon's crumbling tower. Also, her hair becomes a giant shape for who knows why.

#18: Earthbound: Battletoads Edition

This'll be you if you're crazy enough to try this game!

All who dare illegally download this game are met with a drastically harder game, filled with endless enemy encounters even in places where enemies usually aren't present. If you somehow manage to make it to the end, the game crashes and your save file self destructs.

#17: Grand Theft Auto IV: Screw you!

The PC version of this game has several anti-crack (the act of piracy, not the drug) methods installed in it, most notable being a camera that wobbles around like a drunk and cars so weak you'd think they were made out of Atari 5200 controllers.

#16: Serious Sam 3: Invincible scorpion monster

Don't even try to kill this guy, it's impossible!

Did you get this game from a torrent site. Congratulations, you now have an unkillable, protagonist hating scorpion monster to keep you company on your no doubt difficult journey.

#15: Alan Wake: Eye Patch

Aaargh, this swashbuckler's been found out!

All illegal copies of this game came with free eye patches for the player character that couldn't be removed, letting everyone who watched the videos of YouTube know the users' nefarious deeds.

#14: The Talos Principle: Stuck elevator

Go in. I dare you...

In this game you use elevators to get from one level to the next. At least, you do on legally purchased copies. If you make the mistake of playing a bootleg copy, one of the elevators would get stuck and trap you for good.

#13: Ooga Booga: You are a pirate!

Fight piracy with piracy I always say!

The pirate in this lesser known game has some choice words for bootleggers. 

#12: Ranma ½: Hiryuu Densetsu: How is this a punishment again?

For those curious and/or horny, the uncensored image can be found here.

Those who got cracked versions of this Japan exclusive got a really saucy surprise. By the way, that's a man who was cursed to turn into a woman when exposed to cold water.

#11: Command & Conquer: Red Alert 2: Boom shocka locka!

It's raining bomb!

Hey, did you enjoy building all those turrets, mining units and other towers? Well, if you're playing a bootlegged copy of this game all that hard work will blow up seconds after you start the mission!

#10: Zak McKracken: Jailed and called out

Again, something Nintendo would do to real life pirates if it were legal!

This game like many old computer games including the aforementioned Gold Rush started with a code screen that could only be answered if you had the manual. In this case the punishment was both Zak being jailed and you, the player, being called out for your pirating ways.

#9: Alpha Protocol: Annoying main menu

Pirates of this game were in for a big surprise and maybe a headache or two.

#8: Spyro Year of the Dragon: Don't say we didn't warn you

You'll be sorry!

Those daring enough to play cracked versions of this game not a warning from the fairy friend, followed by an ultra buggy adventure that reset itself if you somehow got to the end.

#7: Mod The Gungeon: You are a pirate!

While Enter The Gungeon doesn't have any anti-piracy measures, one of its mods does. If you install the Mod The Gungeon mod on a bootlegged copy of them, you get an impossible first level, a shortcut to the Steam page and a meme YouTube video all in one!

#6: Just Shapes and Beats: Kind of the opposite

This kind of goes against the list, but I'm glad there's at least one game developer who doesn't view piracy as the devil's work (unlike a certain company whose name starts with N).

#5: Michael Jackson The Experience: Ear torment

I'm not gonna torture your ears, but you can easily find videos of this on YouTube.

For illegal copies of this game, instead of Michael Jackson's award winning singing, you'll hear the oh so wonderful sounds of hundreds of vuvuzelas blaring all at once.

#4: The Witcher 2: OH GOD NO!!!!!

I'm gonna be sick!

One neat feature in this game is the ability to have sex with various NPCS. People who did this on illegally acquired copies found that everyone they boned turned into an ugly old woman.

#3: Crysis Warhead: Chickens!!!

Ed would have a field day with this game!

Cracked copies of this game have a secret: All the usable guns had there regular ammunition replaced with harmless chickens. 

#2: Rabi Ribi: CRASH SHOCKA LOCKA!!! 

This is the game I least recommend you pirate (barring anything that has DJ Hallyboo in it)!

Did you buy an illegal version of this game from a site other than Steam? If so, I hope you like having hundreds of tabs opening on your browser till your computer crashes, because that's exactly what you're getting!

#1: Game Dev Tycoon: A taste of your own medicine

If you don't watch Did You Know Gaming, you should. They're awesome.

This bit of irony speaks for itself.

I know trolling pirates is fun and all, but here's a serious message to game developers: Just because somebody pirates games doesn't mean they're the type of people who incites deadly neighborhood riots, shoots up elementary schools, drops bombs on third world countries and leaves negative reviews of popular movies on IMDB (I'm calling you out especially, Nintendo!). With that being said, thanks for reading and enjoy this new year.

Sources

• OddHeader
  
• WatchMojo
  
• The Gamer
  
• The Easter Egg Hunter
• The Cutting Room Floor
  
• TV Tropes
  

20 Funny ways video games punished cheaters

 Cheaters never prosper and these games will make damn sure you take that seriously. Whether they mock you mercilessly, erase your save file or even ban you for life, here are 20 humiliating ways games trolled those who dared tried to cheat at them. Note: I won't be counting answers to piracy, since that's a list for another day.

#20: Animal Crossing Series: Mr. Resetti

Go ahead. Get on this guy's bad side.

Don't even think about resetting without saving in this series or Mr. Resetti will visit you. He gets angrier and angrier each time you do it, eventually forcing you to apologize if you do it too many times.

#19: Fabel: Frying Pan Troll

This is what you get for looking up walkthroughs!

One of the weapons you can get in this Xbox classic is a super powered frying pan. There's a catch, however: The pan's power depends on how many clues you got during the treasure hunt that rewards it. If you get to the end without any clues (most likely via online walkthrough), the pan will be as worthwhile as a subscription to Qubi.

#18: South Park The Fractures But Whole: Tom Brady

If you're gonna unlock any code based doors in this game, you better not get the codes from online walkthroughs. Try to unlock a code based door without learning the code in-game and Cartman will appear to scold you (and compare you to Tom Brady for some reason).

#17: The Impossible Quiz: No Tabs Allowed

This game said it, not me!

For this serious the message is clear: Try to find the answer with tab and your game is up!

#16: Super Monkey Ball: Konami code

Can't say it wasn't worth a shot.

In many games the Konami Code gave you some neat benefits, like 30 extra lives in Contra. Some games instead trolled you for using it, like this game for example.

#15: Tomb Raider 2: Nude code

If you really wanna see Lara nude, just go online! Deviantart probably has a thousand pics of that!

After years of rumors of getting to see Lara Croft nude in the first game, the developers actually added a code in the sequel. JK! All this cheat does is make Lara explode into a million pieces.

#14: Link's Awakening: Thief

That's what shoplifting gets you!

In this game, you can get a free item from the shop by going to the wall behind the shopkeeper and running through the door before he has time to turn around. Be warned, however, for everyone will somehow find out about it, including the electrocute happy shopkeeper.

#13: Heretic: Doom code fails

Good luck beating this game's enemies with a stick!

In Doom, the codes iddqd and idkfa will activate God Mode and give you all weapons respectively. In Heretic, these codes instead kill you instantly and leave you with nothing but a useless staff respectively.

#12: Postal 2: Insulting cheat codes

Sorry, I don't talk to sissies!

Like many games, Postal 2 has a variety of cheat codes. The catch here is you basically type that you're a sissy before you can use any of them.

#11: Crusader No Regret: Jessica16

Well you're screwed.

Good news: Some of the cheat codes from the original Crusader No Remorse show up in this game. Bad news: All they do here is set you up on a date with 8 super powered enemy mechs.

#10: The Witcher 3: Bovine Defense Force

Peta sent that demon!

In early versions of this game it was possible to get infinite money from endlessly slaughtering the cows on the White Orchard. In later versions, doing this too many times results in an army of bull demons spawning to kill you.

#9: Gradius 3: Boom Socka Locka!

The Konami Code strikes again!

In previous Gradius games, the Konami Code gave you all the weapons in the game. In this game, all it did was make your ship explode into a million pieces.

#8: Undertale: Dirty Hacker

He knows...

Being a computer game, it is possible to go through the files in search of endings. Go too far, however, and Sans will catch you and call you out on your dirty hacker ways.

#7: Grand Theft Auto V: Dunce Cap

Cheating in online games is for dunces!

Quite a few games combat cheaters by restricting them to "special" servers where all they go up against are other cheaters. GTA5 ups the ante by making all it's cheating VIPs wear humiliating hats while they troll along.

#6: The Jade Empire: The gambler's death

Oh my God! You killed Daoshen (that this guy's name)! You bastard!

In Imperial City there is a gambler who you can bet with to gain money and like many games you can use save states to always win. Unfortunately the game is ahead of you, so if you manage to win 20 times in a row the gambler will spontaneously explode and be unavailable for that save file.

#5: Banjo-Kazooie: Save file erasure

Among the cheat codes available in this N64 classic are some illegal codes that can unlock other worlds. If you make the mistake of using three of these codes in one game, Grunty will erase your save file. Turns out there's some lines even she won't cross!

#4: The Stanley Parable: The Serious Room

It's the time out corner all over again!

If you so much as dare bring up the cheat menu in this game, the narrator will sentence you to a long time in the Serious Room!

#3: Afterlife: Death Star

Have fun building all of that again!

In this after life sim there is a cheat code that gives you a ton of money. Use this code too many times, however, and a Death Star will show up and start destroying the afterlife you spent probably hours of real time making.

#2: H1Z1: YouTube apology video required

Those caught cheating in this battle royal game were banned from competing in future online matches. To get the ban reversed, cheaters had to upload videos of them apologizing for their cheating ways onto YouTube and email them to the developers.

#1: Donkey Kong 64: Game Shark suicide

You gamesharked on the wrong game, fool!

Trying to use GameShark codes on this Rare classic turns the game into a glitchy, unplayable mess. Even turning the codes off didn't fix this, so you were pretty much screwed.

Heed my advice: Just play by the rules and no one gets hurt. Some honorable mentions include Return of Superman's Not So Super achievement (achievements you don't want is a topic for another list), SimCity wrecking your city for using a money code too many times (The Afterlife example was funnier), Slender 2 sacrificing you to Slenderman for getting out of bounds (That's more scary than funny), and Star Wars Dark Forces LAIAMLAME code (It's similar to the Postal 2 example). For those of you who play by the rules, thanks for reading and have a happy Easter.

Sources

• WatchMojo
• The Gamer
  
• Ranker
  
• Be Amazed
  
• Outsidexbox
  
• The Easter Egg Hunter
  
• TV Tropes
  
• Fable Wiki
  

30 funny things to put on a sign on someone's back

 "Kick me" is so 1955! For those looking for an original twist to this old prank, here's my list of 30 things to tape to someone's back. Warning: This is just a joke post. I won't be held responsible if you actually try one of these and get kicked in the nads. 

#30: I invest in NFTs🪙

The monsters!

#29: I have no penis!🍆

Or for female targets, I have a penis!

#28: I hate SpongeBob🧽

Remember, nobody wants to be a Squidward!

#27: My favorite food is babies🚼

I doubt anyone will believe this, but it will get some looks!

#26: visit this address🎃: https://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/kikia

Just a heads up: The address is to a screamer.

#25: Sneak up behind me and scream😱

Just don't do this to someone with heart problems.

#24: When in doubt, spank your monkey🐵 

Truer words have never been spoken!

#23: The Simpsons has been on for way too long📺

Honestly, some people may agree with this one. 

#22: Aliens are out to get me👽

Somebody call the men in black!

#21: I was just about to consume this delicious banana🍌 

Tasty!

#20: Eat at joe's📃✈️

Ok that's another old joke, but who doesn't love a good throwback?

#19: Fuck you <insert name of person place or thing you hate>!😠

Go to Hell, you suck ass, you're a piece of shit and die already you bitch\bastard are good alternatives. 

#18: I have covid🦠

Just because the pandemic's over doesn't mean the virus is dead!

#17: Me eyes are on the other side you perv!✖️✖️✖️

For extra hilarity, write this really small so whoever's trying to read this had to get really close. 

#16: Baloney!🥪

A HA HA HA HA! Three in a row baby!

#15: The opening to Up made me laugh⚰️

Unemotional jerks!

#14: Throw your tomatoes at me🎯

You can't beat the classics!

#13: I was a cat in a previous life😺

Meow meow meow!

#12: YOU MUST DIE!!!💀

Insert dramatic thunder here.

#11: Stop signs don't exist to me🛑

Somebody call the cops!

#10: Obamacare for the win!🏥

I'm sure this won't cause an outrage. #Sarcasm

#9: Free kisses on other side💋

Act now and get aSlap to the face, also free!

#8: YouTube content farms are the best🚜

They're ruining YouTube animation!

#7: Pinch me and I'll punch you✊

Perfect for Saint Paddy's Day!

#6: I have no boobs!🍈🍈

Or for male targets, I have boobs!

#5: My laugh box is busted😂

If you know, you know. 

#4: Flash player deserved to die🪦

My other blog has proof that's BS. 

#3: Praise Jesus!😇

He died for your sins, you know!

#2: I stole 40 cakes🍰

And that's terrible!

#1: Hey you! You suck!👆(Pretend this hand is flipping the bird)

Them's fightin words!

If you were looking for something to prank your friends and family with, here you go. If you're looking for a prank that won't get you punched in the eye, look elsewhere. Thanks for reading and prank responsibly!

30 Cool secret diversion safes

Looking to up your valuable protecting game? I may be of some help. From innocent looking food containers to stuff no thief in the right mind would steal, homemade or store bought, some diy projects brought to you by YouTube or even some ideas I just thought of (labeled with a 🏦), here are 30 neat ways to keep thieves away from your belongings. Caution: This post has some really bad puns. Viewer's discretion is advised.

#30: Food and Drink Cans

A fizzy classic!

Just like many things, throwing off thieves goes better with Coke!

#29: Food Containers🏦

This is making me hungry!

The beauty of this is if you don't want to shell out cash for a fake can of salted pork, any big, non-clear food container you might already have at home will work. Chip bags, cereal boxes, coffee cans, you name it.

#28: Throw Pillow

The softest safe money can buy!

If you can't find one of these, just placing your stuff in your pillowcase should suffice. Just don't forget about it when it's time to change the cases.

#27: Power Outlet

A shocking development!

If you can cut a hole in your wall, you can do this!

#26: Hollowed-out Book

A well written method of hiding stuff!

Your crime prevention manual is overdue!

#25: Sprinkler

With this thing you'll leave those robbers all wet!

Never lock yourself out of the house again!

#24: Hairbrush

This'll keep you from having any hairy situations!

The best part is that it still does wonders for your hairdo!

#23: Plush toy

He's a real secret keeper!

Lola Loud had the right idea!

#22: Coat Hanger

Here's a safe that can hang with the best of them!

Just put a big shirt or coat on this and any intruders to your home will be none the wiser!

#21: Battery

A powerful way to screw criminals!

For extra security, put these in a device you don't use too often.

#20: Dirty underwear

Right under their noses!

Probably the one I least recommend you try making at home.

#19: Clock

Time for bed!

Father time is on your side!

#18: Flashlight🏦

Light's out, robbers!

The best part of this safe is you don't even need to go to a special store for it. Just get an old, preferably big and clean flashlight, remove the batteries and put your stuff in.

#17: Your Phone Case

Give those unlawful bastards a wakeup call!

Did you know you can store cash and credit cards inside your phone case? Well, you can!

#16: Fake Rock

That's one stone cold safe!

This'll blend into any rock bed!

#15: Omarbaba Bottle

It keeps you hydrated and leaves unwanted stealers out to dry!

Too bad I didn't know about these until today, they would've made a great addition to my water bottle list from the past!

#14: Markers

Make a mark on your anti-theft record!

Some disassembly required.

#13: TKOR Mayonnaise Jar

Here's a tangy way to keep prying hands off your valuables!

#12: Candles

That's the hot new item right there!

Whether it's a real candle with a large hole in the bottom or an LED one with a removable base, this is one diy safe that really shines bright!

#11: Tennis Balls

I love this job!

This one's probably the easiest one to make at home. Just cut a small slit in a tennis ball and there you go.

#10: Old game or DVD boxes🏦

I CD what you mean!

Finally, a use for that Jack and Jill DVD you made the mistake of buying years ago!

#9: Flowerpot

Can you dig it?

If you can plant some flowers in a pot, you can do this! Alternatively, you can put your stuff in a container and bury it in the dirt under your plants.

#8: Kipkay Book Stash Box

What's better than one book? A shelf of books, that's what!

#7: Three Ring Binder🏦

Three rings to rule them all!

All you need is a pencil pouch and a binder with some uninteresting notes!

#6: Door

The way to piece of mind is right here!

This one requires a boring tool and a cylindrical container, but the security is worth the effort!

#5: Trash cans🏦

A trashy way to store your valuables, but it works!

If you're gonna do this, keep your stuff in a little container and don't put any greasy stuff in the can.

#4: Flight of stairs

Take the right steps to preventing crime in your house today!

With the right level of carpentry skills (or an expert), you can turn your staircase into a bunch of secret compartments!

#3: Under your bed🏦

You can sleep well with this hack!

Even if an intruder did find out your wallet was down there, getting to it would be a challenge!

#2: Eagle Creek Undercover Leg Wallet

Never skip leg day!

So much more hidden than the pockets on your pants!

#1: Household Hacker Lego safe

Brick by brick, this safe will keep your stuff safe!

And those were some nifty ways to keep thieving hands from claiming your belongings. Some honorable mentions include Household Hacker's hanger safe (I thought the pocketed one was cooler), the lotion safe hack (it's basically the food can safe, but with skincare products), Kipkay's DVD stash drive (it's form factor severely limits what you can put in it), and your socks while you run (that sounds uncomfortable). If you can think of any diversion safes or stuff hiding life hacks that I might've missed, the comment section is in plain sight. Thanks for watching and keep an eye out for thieves!

Sources

• Skilled Survival
• Secret Stashing
  
• Household Hacker
• Reader's Digest
  
• Spy
  
• Open Tube
  
• Wonderful Engineering
  
• Jansen's DIY
  
• The Loud House