Tired of giving out candy each Halloween? Maybe I can help. Whether it's healthy stuff, gags or other stuff, here are 30 things to give out to trick or treaters instead of candy. Caution: This is a gag blog. Don't try this at home (especially giving out some of the... Less pleasant stuff) unless of course you like getting your house covered in tp or rotten eggs.
#30: Apples
Give em something with some nutritional value!
#29: Baloney!
A HA HA HA HA!
#28: Chocolate covered "peanuts"
Just don't tell the recipients that they're actually garlic cloves. Hey, why not pull a prank or two this holiday?
#27: Kids show/movie dvds
This'll entertain them much longer than any candy bar. Be sure to include some Caillou and/or Peppa Pig if you want to torment the parents.
#26: Frozen pipes disguised as ice pops
It'll be just like A Christmas Story, but with a much smaller pole.
#25: A good scare
For best results, wear a scary mask and scream as you open the door. Just don't do this to someone with heart problems.
#24: Some pocket change
Tell them to buy their own dang candy!
#23: Miniature bibles
Tell them about Jesus while they're still impressionable.
#22: Grapes disguised as eyeballs
Bleuch!!!
#21: Sleep gummies
At least you're doing the parents a favor, right?
#20: Expired restaurant coupons
Oh the disappointment!
#19: Mini soda bottles
Just make sure the caps are screwed on real tight so the recipients will have a hard time opening them!
#18: Nuts and bolts
As well as directions to your enemy's home. And tell the kids that said enemy stole all your trick or treat candy!
#17: Rocks
Optional step: Pray they don't get thrown at your house. Just because Charlie Brown took getting these in stride doesn't mean every trick or treater will!
#16: Another good scare
Those kids are gonna be scared witless if you spontaneously "die" and then "come back to life" right in front of they're eyes! Again, don't do this to people with heart problems.
#15: Wooden stakes
Just in case a vampire attacks!
#14: Ghost peppers
NO! NOT INTO THE MOUTH!!! IT BUUUURRRNNNSSSS!!!!!!!
#13: Dental stuff (toothpaste/floss etc)
They'll thank you when they don't have cavities from all the candy they'll inevitably indulge in!
#12: Completely empty batteries
Because your a jerk!
#11: Bacon
Depending on whose at your door, they might just like this more than Butterfingers or Pixie sticks.
#10: A sneeze
This one's self-explanatory.
#9: Used up gift cards
This will get on their bad sides!
#8: Worms
If you want to be extra jerky, color them so they look like gummy worms first.
#7: Fake gemstones
If the trick-or-treaters at your door are gullible, they'll think they're rich!
#6: Fake poop
EEEWWW!!!
#5: Retro game controllers sans cords
At least they'll make cool fidget toys.
#4: Toilet paper and eggs
Better them than you!
#3: A scream in the ear
AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
#2: Indecent exposure
Flash em baby!
#1: Expired candy
Honestly, this might just be the worst thing on this list.
Just to remind you, this list is just for fun and shouldn't be taken seriously. Nonetheless I hope you enjoyed. Thanks for reading and have a safe and happy Halloween. Also click here for a similar list on I-Mockery, which I did not steal the idea for this list from.
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