Saturday, January 9, 2021

10 Worst cartoon "protagonists"

You won't find these super stinkers near the Justice League or Avengers anytime soon. From incompetent jokers to conscience-free jerks, join me as we count down 10 of the worst designated "heroes" in cartoon history. To clarify, I will not be including characters like Cartman, Zim or Blackhat, as despite their protagonist titles they are clearly designed to be villains. I will also exclude characters like Rick Sanchez or BoJack Horseman, who have good reasons for being somewhat jerky.

#10: Mr. Krabs from seasons 5 through 8 SpongeBob SquarePants

He'll do anything for a buck, even if it means breaking the law!

In the first couple of seasons this crustacean was greedy, but quite well meaning and not too bad. In seasons 5 through 8, however, this changed quickly. Not only did his greed escalate to the point he'll drag people into his restaurant and force them to order food, several episodes showed him doing things like running a newspaper business that told life-ruining lies about the other customers, firing loyal employee SpongeBob just to save a nickel, and playing on Plankton's fear of whales to the extent he tried to kill himself. Fortunately, this character was reformed near the middle of season 9.

#9: Johnny Test from... well, Johnny Test

Not every kid is a good one.

This kid goes way beyond being just a little brat. Not only does he bug everyone around him with his whiney nature, he also causes major problems for his family and neighborhood by messing with his sisters' experiments. It doesn't help that he often receives little to no punishment for his misdeeds.

#8: The Teen Titans from Teen Titans Go!

Anyone else miss the old show?

Unlike their animated 2003 counterparts, these guys are really hard to like. Not only do they fight their enemies sometimes before they've even done anything, they also play harmful pranks on each other, wreck property, hurt innocent civilians and attacking their enemies before they've even done anything to warrant being attacked. That being said, the show does often bring up self-awareness about their unheroic behavior through self insults and the first movie puts them in a more positive light.

#7: Wally and Gus from Rocket Monkeys

These two are so bad even their own theme song mocks them!

Throughout this not so good show, these two morons repeatedly prove that they don't deserve their jobs as galactic patrol men. Not only do they cause rampant mayhem for everyone and everything around them, they also drove their arch enemy to villainy because they kept attacking him under the belief that he is a banana.

#6: Allen and Richard from... well, Allen Gregory

With characters like these, is it any wonder this show only lasted seven episodes?

These 2 are just plain rude. Allen is a self-absorbed little prick who treats nearly everyone around him like dirt and has a stalkerish crush on the much older principle of his school. Richard is no better. Not only did he stalk Jeremy until he left his family to be in an abusive relationship with him, he's also so incompetent at his job that the higher ups made him the "Super CEO" so he doesn't ruin the company.

#5: Henry and Ray from the Adventures of Kid Danger

Super heroes, they are not!

Sure they had moments of question morality in Henry Danger, but here they're just ridiculous. Not only do they repeatedly refuse to save the day because they were "too busy" playing video games or eating at a restaurant, but they also cause far more problems than any of the actual villains in the show.

#4: Sparky from The Fairly Oddparents

Don't let that big smile fool you, this guy is a menace to society!

This sob is widely considered one of the biggest reason for this show going down the toilet and its very easy to see why. From his first appearance alone, he caused immense problems with his magic and twice nearly got Timmy killed in a plane crash and a flood, while feeling no guilt about it. His appearances in other episodes were no better, to the point that fan's celebrated when he was confirmed to not be coming back for season 10.

#3: Peter Griffin from modern Family Guy

In all fairness, most of Family Guy's other main characters aren't much better.

He was once a well meaning if dimwitted and childish individual, but now he's one of the biggest jerks in cartoon history. He's abusive to his wife and kids, he's a major threat to everyone and everything around him and to top it all off, he virtually never regrets any of his actions and often gets off scot-free with them.

#2: Scrappy from The Little Pest

Scrappy (left) right before he sends his innocent little brother to make his maker.

This little bastard only appeared in a few old shorts, but this one alone puts him on the list. While going fishing, he repeatedly yells at his baby brother Oopie that he can't come along, going as far as to slap him hard enough to send him flying a short distance. When Oopie manages to catch up and accidentally tangles to fishing lines, Scrappy throws him right into the lake. As if that wasn't bad enough, he walks away pretending not to hear Oopie's cries for help and only goes in to save him so he doesn't get punished for his death. To top off this misery sundae, when the revived Oopie requests a drink of water, Scrappy responds by throwing him right back into the lake to drown.

#1: Ren from Ren & Stimpy Adult Party Cartoon

Somebody forgot their likeability pills today!

His original incarnation might've been a major jerk, but he least has some redeeming qualities. This version, however, is nothing but a monster. After a childhood of subjecting innocent animals to horrible torture, he lusts over scantily clad women, regularly consumes drugs and alcohol and is horribly abusive to Stimpy, even when he's supposedly pregnant.

Dishonerable mentions

Here are a few protagonists that aren't as bad as the ones above, though that's not a compliment.

Sway Sway and Beduece from Breadwinners

They mean well, they just don't have brains!

Yes these guys might annoy their fellow characters and cause more harm than good, but from what I've seen they have good hearts and often try to make up for their wrong doings, which is more than I can say for the characters who made the list.

Caillou and D.W. from Caillou and Arthur

You know the difference between these two, DarkSyde Phil and Onision? Two of them are obnoxious brats nobody likes and the other two are pictured above.

These kid might be highly obnoxious and prone to temper tantrums, but their wrong doings are nothing compared some of the stuff the entries above have done.

Bloo from Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends

Out of all the characters on this list, Bloo is possibly the most likeable.

I honestly don't get why some people hate this character to be honest. Yes he's bratty, selfish and willing to step all over his friends to get what he wants, but there have been countless times where he treats his friends like actual friends and the show often punishes him for his misdeeds.

Yeah, this probably isn't the most upbeat way to ring in the new year, but I hope you enjoyed reading this anyway. If you can think of any more protagonists who don't deserve that title, be sure to mention them. I'll see you later. Here's to hoping this is the year the Covid-19 pandemic comes to an end.

Sources

Friday, December 25, 2020

15 Wacky flasks

 Some people will do anything to smuggle their booze wherever they go. From flasks shaped like phones to golf clubs that hold drinks, join me as we count down 15 downright odd flasks.

#15: Santa's stocking flask

Merry Christmas everyone!

Ho ho ho and a large sock of eggnog!

#14: Phone flask

How long before iGet Drunk becomes a thing?

This phone doesn't have any apps or make calls, but it will fit in your pocket nonetheless.

#13: Secret binocular

Look at that!

This flask has not one, but two flasks for twice the drinking potential!

#12: Golf club

FOOORE!

It's a drink dispenser and blunt instrument all in one!

#11: Hairbrush

Multifunctional tools are the best!

Even with a hollow handle, this thing still does wonders for your hair.

#10: Belt buckle

Don't make me take a swig of whatever's in this thing!

A little close to the ding dong, don't you think?

#9:  Necktie

Put some coffee in this and you'll be ready for any meeting!

Yeah, nobody's gonna notice you sucking the tip of your tie.

#8: Mitten

My hands may be warm, but my alcohol is cold!

Talk about keeping your beverage at hand!

#7: NES cartridge

Now you're playing with champagne!

Put it near your mouth, but keep it away from your Nintendo Entertainment System.

#6: Chill pack

Take a chill pack, man!

It can still be used like an ice pack if you're drink is cold enough.

#5: Tampon

That's what she said!

Whatever happens in the small plastic tube stays in the small plastic tube.

#4: Drinkman

Rock out!

When I heard the walkman was coming back, this isn't what I had in mind.

#3: Cane

The elderly drinker's choice!

It holds you and several small bottles of your favorite drink.

#2: Sports bra

Turn your c cup into an l cup!

Fill it with Gatorade or Red Bull and it could be a sports bra.

#1: Beer belly

If using this for drink sneaking doesn't work out, you could always have as part of your Homer Simpson cosplay.

Looks like we can finally take that expression literally.

If you're gonna drink, do it responsibly and don't even think of drinking and driving. There's bound to be some odd drink sneaking contraptions I missed, so leave some suggestions if you want. I'll see you later. Have a merry Christmas.

Sources

15 Creative drinking cups

Even something as plain as a drinking cup can have a little flair. From cups shaped like bowling pins to mugs that stir themselves, join me as we count down 15 cool and creative drinking cups.

#15: Bowling pin sipper

Leave to Whirley Drinkworks to have some creative cups!

True to its name, this cup resembles a bowling pin. It has a straw for easy drinking and a ring insert to prevent spills.

#14: Basketball mug

Marshmallow dunk!

This cup has 2 unique features: one is the basketball shaped cup itself and the other is the small basketball hoop at the back that you can dunk your mini marshmallows or cereal pieces through.

#13: Snackeez

That's one handy as seen on tv product!

Not only does this cup hold whatever drink you want, it also has a small bowl that screws into the top to hold your snacks.

#12: Ctrl-Alt-Del cup set

Tech savvy!

This is a set of 3 cups that resemble certain keys on a keyboard. Pretty self-explanatory.

#11: Butterfly and spider glass set

Let nature run its course!

This is a set of 3 glasses with images of a butterfly, a spider and a web on them. If you nestle the glass together, it looks like the spider is descending upon a butterfly that got too close to its web.

#10: 7-11 Jack-o-lantern Slushee cup

Happy late Halloween everyone!

If you look you might find this at a 7-11 near you on Halloween. Not only does this cup have a large capacity, you can also get 1 free refill with it on Halloween.

#9: Self-stirring mug

No spoons required!

At the bottom of this mug is a battery operated stirring paddle. With this perfectly mixed juice and milk drinks are a button press away.

#8: Slushy maker

Who wants a slushy?

This cup lets you make your own slushies at home. The process is simple: Pour your favorite drink into the cup, put it in the freezer for 4-6 hours and squeeze for a minute.

#7: Cookie Monster mug

He want cookie!

This mug not only resembles the face of Cookie Monster, it also has a large hole near the bottom to store your cookies.

#6: Chalkboard mug

Its just like the blackboard in a children's classroom, except you can drink from this thing!

Like the blackboard in a classroom, you can draw on this mug with chalk. Essentially this mug can look like anything you want it to.

#5: Lego mug

Yet another base for your Lego bricks!

This mug has dozens of tiny studs for you to place your Lego bricks on. Even if you don't drink from this, you could always have it as part of your Lego sets.

#4: CrunchCup

It does more than cereal, if DOPE or NOPE is any indication!

This unique cup makes your cereal and milk breakfast even better. This is possible because the cup keeps your cereal and milk in 2 separate containers, while the spout at the top combines them as you drink up. 

#3: Tiki cup

This is one freaky tiki!


This cup looks like a tiki statue, complete with wicked grin. This particular cup also includes a snap-on lid and bendable drinking straw.

#2: Ninja Mug

Blink and this handsome mug will be gone!

This mug not only looks like a ninja, it also comes with a katana spoon, shuriken coaster and removable sleeve.

#1: Plasma mug

That's one cool mug!

When it's on its base, little plasma arcs will start shooting throughout this mug, providing an awesome effect.

Sources

15 Quirky drinking bottles

 Who said bottles had to be boring? From drink holders with pockets to versatile bottles, join me as we count down 15 cool and unusual drinking bottles.

#15: Hydrosleeve

Hands free drinking!

This is a water bottle with a built-in strap so you can wear on your arm for easy drinking. Not only that, it is also insulated to keep your water cold.

#14: Lunatec Aquabot

Refreshing!

This bottle can spray its watery content for a large variety of uses. Getting to work is as simple as pumping the handle to build pressure and selecting what spray mode you want.

#13: Dopper bottle

Why have 1 option when you can have 2?

The lid to this PBA-free bottle can be used as a cup. Not only that, Dopper also donates 5% of sales to water sanitation projects.

#12: Beat bottle

Quite convenient.

This bottle holds your drink and your phone. On the side is a long slot that will not only hold your phone, but also amplify any music coming from it.

#11: Kangaroo

How handy!

This bottle has a sealable pocket on the side to store things like your keys, credit cards and cash.

#10: Aqua Zinger

Grind em up!

This bottle has a built-in grinder cup at the bottom. With that you can add flavor and nutritional content from things like fruits and herbs into your drinks.

#9: Hydraduo

2 Drinks in 1 bottle!

This water bottle has 2 drink compartments, so you can have 2 different drinks with you or have a drink for you and a friend without getting multiple bottles.

#8: OKO Odyssey

Versatility, thy name is Odyssey!

This is way more than just a bottle. I has 2 interchangeable water filters, a flashlight, a lantern and a storage compartment.

#7: Flavor-it infuser water bottle

Infuse the rainbow! Taste the rainbow!

This bottle lets you flavor your water. This process is as simple as putting fruit and/or tea leaves into the little container on the lid and putting the lid on the bottle.

#6: Asobu pill bottle

Pills here!

This pill-shaped water bottle has a detachable container for storing your medicine. The cap can also be as a cup so you can take said medicine.

#5: Blender bottle

Who needs flavor packets?

This is a sealable bottle with a whisk ball. To use it, simply add your ingredients to the bottle along with the whisk ball and shake until bended to your liking.

#4: The Real Zeal Infuze

Good flavor, right from the source!

The main draw to this bottle is the juicer that's built into it. With it you can squeeze fruit juice into your water for better flavor.

#3: Cirkul

Who ordered the tropical fruit water?

Instead of using fruits or sugary drink mixes, this bottle uses special cartridges to flavor your water as you drink it.

#2: HYDRA Smart Bottle

Now that's a high tech bottle!

In addition to holding water, this bottle has Bluetooth speakers, a microphone, flashing lights and a power bank all built into it.

#1: Intelishake

Your bottle, your way!

This is a modular water bottle, meaning you can customize it to fit your needs. Parts include a middle compartment for storing things like your phone or credit cards, replaceable carbon filter for removing contaminants and shaker spring for mixing drinks.

Who knew drinking containers could do so much? If you know of some bottles you think should've been on the list, let me know. I'll see you later. Thanks for viewing and have a merry Christmas.

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