Thursday, October 31, 2019

20 Messed up Pokedex entries

Those fighting monsters might not be so cute when you read their backstories. From ghost Pokemon who used to be human to insects that are taken over by fungus, join me as we count down 20 @#$%ed up descriptions brought to us by the Pokedex. Warning: This post contains factoids that might just ruin your childhood. Viewer's discretion is advised.

#20: Cubone

Wears the skull of its deceased mother. Its cries echo inside the skull and come out as a sad melody.
There's a reason this guy cries so much. The skull on its head use to belong to its mother, who died while giving birth to it.

#19: Mimikyu

Its actual appearance is unknown. A scholar who saw what was under its rag was overwhelmed by terror and died from the shock.
This Pokémon wants to be loved so much that it dresses up like series mascot Pikachu. Underneath the costume is a form so horrifying that those who see it die of fright.

#18: Komala

It is born asleep, and it dies asleep. All its movements are apparently no more than the results of it tossing and turning in its dreams.
This Pokemon is proof that even the cutest animals hold a dark secret. This guy spends his whole life asleep, from birth to death, completely unaware of the land of the living.

#17: Houndoom

If you are burned by the flames it shoots from its mouth, the pain will never go away.
If you thought regular angry guard dogs were bad, wait until you hear this. The pain from this dogs fire breath never goes away.

#16: Gorebyss

Although Gorebyss is the very picture of elegance and beauty while swimming, it is also cruel. When it spots prey, this Pokémon inserts its thin mouth into the prey's body and drains the prey of its body fluids.
Despite its cute appearance, this Pokémon is closer to an assassin bug than a mermaid. Any lifeform unlucky enough to meet one risks having its bodily fluids sucked up like a milkshake.

#15: Glalie

Glalie has the ability to freely control ice. For example, it can instantly freeze its foe solid. After immobilizing its foe in ice, this Pokémon enjoys eating it in leisurely fashion.
It's alright to eat other animals to survive. What isn't alright, however, is freezing your prey solid and eating them as slowly as possible!

#14: Cacturn

If a traveler is going through a desert in the thick of night, Cacturne will follow in a ragtag group. The Pokémon are biding their time, waiting for the traveler to tire and become incapable of moving.
The Pokedex never says what these Pokemon do to tired dessert travelers, but if they wait for their victims to become too tired to move, we can assure it ain't pretty.

#13: Banette

A doll that became a Pokémon over its grudge from being junked. It seeks the child that disowned it.
This guy might sport a smile, but he holds a deep seeded hatred and desire for revenge against the child who threw it away when it was a simple doll.

#12: Heatmor

Using their very hot, flame-covered tongues, they burn through Durant’s steel bodies and consume their insides.
These guys prey on the giant steel ants known as Durants, but they need a method of actually eating their prey. What better way then cooking them from the inside out, while they're briefly alive?

#11: Parasect

A host-parasite pair in which the parasite mushroom has taken over the host bug. Prefers damp places.
The scariest thing about this is that it's what some real world bugs go through!

#10: Gourgeist

It enwraps its prey in its hairlike arms. It sings joyfully as it observes the suffering of its prey.

It may look cute, but this jack-o-lantern-like Pokémon is a straight up sadist. 

#9: Muk

Its body is made of a powerful poison. Touching it accidentally will cause a fever that requires bed rest.
This Pokemon is the definetion of walking biohazard. 

#8: Duskclops

Anyone who dares peer into its body to see its spectral ball of fire will have their spirit stolen away.
Its body is hollow except for a spectral fireball. If you see it, your soul gets taken.

#7: Jellicent

The fate of the ships and crew that wander into Jellicent's habitat: all sunken, all lost, all vanished.
Yes this jellyfish looks kinda like fat heads, but they are no laughing matter. They're essentially the krakens of the Pokemon verse.

#6: Yamask

Each of them carries a mask that used to be its face when it was a person. Sometimes they look at it and cry.
If you think that's bad, they can then evolve into golden coffins that turn any humans they eat into mummies.

#5: Phantump

According to old tales, these Pokémon are stumps possessed by the spirits of children who died while lost in the forest.
These guys may look cute, but they used to be human children before they died in the woods. Even worse, they involve into horrifying tree monsters 

#4: Darkrai

It chases people and Pokémon from its territory by causing them to experience deep, nightmarish slumbers.
Darkrai's powers are just as dark as its appearance. Just ask anyone whose experienced them.

#3: Chandelure

Being consumed in Chandelure's flame burns up the spirit, leaving the body behind.
This is just one example of a Pokemon that feeds on souls. Why are there so many Pokemon that feed on souls?!

#2: Yveltal

When its life comes to an end, it absorbs the life energy of every living thing and turns into a cocoon once more.
Now we know who the Pokemon incarnation of death is.

#1: Giratina

It was banished for its violence. It silently gazed upon the old world from the Distortion World.
What better Pokemon to take the top spot than the closest thing the Pokemon universe has to Satan? This horrific monster was banished to the distortion world for its violent tendencies. That sounds bad enough, but it gets worse when you considered that none of the Pokemon mentioned before this one were banished to anyplace. That means whatever this thing did was worse than devouring souls, burning prey from the inside out, turning children into ghosts and even causing mass extinctions when you die.

With about a thousand Pokemon to cover, there's bound to be plenty of examples that I missed. Feel free to leave some suggestions in the comments section. I'll see you later. Have a happy Halloween!

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